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Loving Myself
Okay, I've already addressed this but apparently it needs to be hashed out again. Yes, I have gained weight. A LOT of weight if you consider the fact that I've been around 100lbs most of my career; which if you really think about it is severely underweight for my height (5'7"). However, that's just the way it was. And with that I've always been treated like a 12yrold.

Now, I've gained weight and FINALLY fill out clothing and FINALLY feel weight appropriate to my age (I'm almost 30).

For once, I FINALLY have tits and an ass!

And even more so, I FEEL FUCKIN AMAZING! I love myself! I love the way I look! I love having a body that bounces when I walk! And most of you get that, understand that... but then there's the few that just won't leave it alone. They feel the need to tell a woman what to do with her body... HER BODY.

In case y'all didn't know, women come in all shapes & sizes... and for all different types of reasons. No, I haven't been overeating ... No, I'm not pregnant. Yes, I have been taking care of myself.

Why don't you try not mansplaining a woman's body to a woman for once and just enjoy it as it is.

Just because I don't look like I'm 12 anymore doesn't mean I'm not an extremely sexual being. There are PLENTY of men and women who see me for who I still am and especially now that I have a body that matches my prowess.

I finally feel like a woman. So you can quite frankly fuck off if you don't like my tits and ass!

And on another note:

Body shaming on ANY level is downright repulsive. I'd like for you to look in the mirror and tell me you're 100% happy with how you look and then put it all over the internet for people to jack off to, since the day you turned 18.... tell me how it feels to literally grow up before the world's every judging eyes.

And just for a bit more clarification, my weight gain was because I tried a new birth control. It made me gain 37 lbs and get acne everywhere (face, neck, back, etc).... not to mention the 24/7 PMS and non-stop bleeding.

Why don't y'all try that for a change?

Oh that's right , the men's birth control study ended early bc all the men dropped out immediately upon feeling the slightest of those symptoms. Yet the term pussy is used to mean weak. Hmmmmm ok


Now What?

A lot has happened since I last updated. You know, it's been really hard for me to blog sometimes; I get started and then I get discouraged half way through because I feel this isn't the right outlet for the things I feel like yappin' about. I feel it's not sexual enough or it's just me ranting (per the usual). But a really good friend of mine recently told me that none of that matters because that's all part of me, and 'me' is what y'all wanna see. Not to mention that at the end of the day, a HUGE portion of this is for myself as well. Shooting, writing, posting, etc.. This Georgia girl that I am... She's for me as much as she is for y'all. She is me. I am her. But also, she is my escape from the monotony that is this mortal coil.

Anyway, so I decided recently I needed to update my bucket list seeing as though I've most definitely accomplished most everything on there (the one I created at like 15, right?) and I decided why not write about it as well. So I get started, trying to come up with at least 10 things and I started realizing just how fucking hard it is. I mean, shit... I've done SO MANY things in my life. I've been on this planet for 29 years and I've seriously particpated in some things that people strive their entire life to do and still never accomplish. I mean making this list is REALLY fucking hard... like, "Well wtf? What do I do now?" I've literally done almost everything I've ever wanted to do. My goals have been met... so now what? So then the existential crisis sets in.. LOL. Dun, Dunn, DUNNNNNNNN.... "OMG NOW WHAT? I HAVE NOTHING TO LIVE FOR! HOLY SHIT IT'S JUST DEPRESSION FROM HERE ON OUT BECAUSE I HAVE ZERO GOALS! I COULD DIE TOMORROW AND BE PERFECTLY FINE!"

Now I know this sounds so ridiculous and like 1st world problems and pretty girl problems big time, and that makes it about 1000 times worse but ya... It's there. I start feeling bad for all the amazing shit I've been able to do; all the mass amounts of amazing memories that I barely even remember because there is so damn many of them. And then this feeling happens and the only way I can describe it is what I imagine survivor's guilt to feel like.

I wanna share the world with y'all. I need to learn how to work a nice camera and travel the world and share it with everyone. I don't know if I've ever told y'all but being a travel journalist is my dream job; Aside from being a lesbian pornstar of course. Lesbian erotica is my #1 always but traveling and telling the world about it is a close 2nd. I guess I just need to figure out a way to combine the two. I need someone to help me with the production end really. I can't do it all on my phone otherwise I would -lol.

So anyway, I created this bucket list and I'm gonna post it but y'all can't laugh, okay? :D who knows.. I'm sure it will change some a long the way.

xoxox GJ

My New Bucket List

  1. Visit every continent at least once (I'm well on my way for this one)
  2. Jump on a cargo train with just a backpack and ride it to wherever it takes me!
  3. Have a book published
  4. Own my own barrel of JD from the distillery
  5. Own some land in the country/ have a farm (this is obvi way way way in the future bc I love living in LA for now)
  6. Start an ELO tribute band
  7. Win a Swing Dance competition
  8. Backpack around the world for an entire year then write a book about my adventures
  9. Create a Sex Worker Summer Camp (like a weeklong amazing vacation for all of us to mingle and learn)
  10. Fall in love with life over and over again

BGJ.com is One Year old

So, it's finally here! We made it! It's our 1 year anniversary of the launch of the greatest website known to earth! BadGirlJones.com is officially ONE YEAR OLD!!!!! I can't believe the success of this site so far! It was slow growing at first, but I have such an amazing group of loyal buddies on here that it quickly exceeded my expectations! Many of you very much helped it move along by relentlessly promoting BGJ.com! I can't thank ya'all enough! It's truly been a team effort! There aren't enough words of gratitude in the English language to fully show my appreciation for all that y'all have done for me and for BGJ.com! This whole month, I've cried tears of joy regularly (about once a week) over the patience, appreciation & loyalty you have all shown me this year for BGJ.com, and for many of you, over the past decade in general!

Yep, that's right... one whole decade! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! Wow, time really does fly when you're having fun! I've been doing the same thing, with the same exact look for 10 whole years and y'all aren't tired of me yet????????? I must be the luckiest girl in the world! Damn near close, if not numero uno! Maybe a tie? Yet I can't even come up with one other person who has it better than me. I really can't. I would change lives with no one.

Now, everyone knows I'm a huge advocate for lesbian porn being seen as 'real porn'. When I started, we had 1 award that was all ours at the award shows. One! I went half of my career, begging the award shows to notice us; to give us the recognition we deserve. And now we finally have our own POTY award, as well as several others. But everyone knows I still get a little agitated when people try to tell me "oh you should be PROUD that you've never taken dick on camera..". To be quite frank, this pisses me off to no end because lesbian porn IS STILL PORN. I'm still swallowing the cum of a stranger who I only know by a fictitious name. I'm still judged by a huge portion of the country/world. I'm still disrespected on the regular from every 3rd random person who thinks my job isn't a 'real job' or is 'degrading'. My knees still cry at night. I still wear the permanent Scarlet P. I still cringe at the thought of my baby nephews growing up in a world where people pick on them because they are related to a sex worker. But I do it because I love it. No matter what, through all the ups and downs in 10yrs, it's still so worth it!

I will be the first to admit that I prefer working with girls who do b/g over girls who only do g/g. Simply because they dive straight in. Face first into my vagina; it's so hot. And honestly, they just eat better pussy in general. I'm not saying I don't like working with g/g only girls or that this is the case every single time (definitely not).. I'm just saying, in 10yrs, my experience is that the b/g girls do it better. And they are more relaxed about sex, for the most part.

ALL of that being said, I would like to point out one thing that does make me proud to still be a lesbian only performer. It has nothing to do with dick. Literally, not one thing to do with dick. It has to do with the fact that 10yrs ago, when I started this venture, anyone and everyone kept telling me that this here that I'm living daily couldn't be done. I heard it all... "You won't be able to make a career out of only g/g", "You will need to start b/g eventually in order to pay the bills", "You don't honestly think you'll be able to continue working forever only doing g/g, right?", and my personal favorite "I can't wait until you start doing b/g and we can REALLY get off to you".

The bottom line being that half of all directors and photographers I'd shot for in the beginning were completely under the assumption that it just couldn't be done, was fuel to my will. Call me a Rebel, but it definitely changed my priorities. When I first started, I started out slow but it was a career move. It wasn't because I was afraid or a prude.. far from it! I had goals... dreams! I wanted to extend my career for as long as I could. Then, at a certain point I realized that I'd been told so many times what I HAD to do because what I WAS doing wasn't gonna work. I lost all interest in doing b/g and g/g became my entire world. I started really putting my soul into my lesbian scenes. I had a new purpose, as well as, something to prove. It's almost like I felt lesbian porn needed a hero. I needed to be the lesbian porno Barbara Palmer. Or better yet, Mary Wollstonecraft. I wanted nothing more than to show it can be done; and SHOULD be. I was the girl's girl. I am the woman's woman. I need no penis to make me desirable and worthy.

Anyway... All I'm saying is that I am so belated to have accomplished so many things recently. The end of this year & beginning of the new one has been and is such a time for celebration! So many amazing things happening in the world of the Bad Girl. I'm living a dream. I wake up every morning still confused that this crazy amazing world is actually my reality. I'm really living this. And I couldn't have done any of it without y'all!!!! So Thank You!!! I can't wait for 10 more years of this incredible feeling.


Fort Grant
I once heard a story about a bird and a rose. It was a love story that rocked me at my core. I knew immediately upon reading it that it was written for us. You might have thought it was just an outpouring of the soul. A cathartic inking that shedded whatever you needed at that moment. But I knew.
I knew the moment I first read it. You wrote that about us. My wings spread and I bled. Your petals forever my bed.

I remember late nights, or rather early mornings, at Fort Grant; trying to keep all the boys hushed while you got off the phone with Daddy. Your voice changing slightly to appease him just enough so you could carry on in our debauchery. Our favorite sins. Those memories will never fade. I had no problem sharing you because I knew he was just your toy. Another 19yr old ploy. A means to an end. A temporary high. An angel in disguise.

Your hand touches my breast and it's so warm. You're reaching across me to put my seat belt on. We are on our way to our first rave. New Years Eve. I might never get that song out of my head. It had already been a year and some change since our first date, and I knew where my heart was... And yours.

Your lips were the softest I'd ever felt and in that moment I realized they were the only lips I'd ever need. I was standing on the table for the company I was signing for at AVN/AEE and you were on break from your own. You pushed and shoved through the gigantic crowd and walked right up to me, tapped my boot and gave me the 'come hither' finger. I leaned down, took a knee and you completed my whole world. Right there in front of that whole perverted and beloved crowd. I was instantly on my knees for you. You kissed me and I knew. They knew; Everyone knew.

When you're crying and he just walks by, I'm the one there to comfort you. When I'm lost and wonder what's next or better yet 'why', you are there. It's a give and take that I couldn't be prouder to be a part of; couldn't be happier that it exists. The entire world can see everything we are doing and every inch of us, ta boot -- and we live for it. I Love it.

I'm so emotional yet I can't even cry. So much has happened. But it doesn't change a thing. It won't be long until you're gone. And when you are, it still doesn't matter. They say everything happens for a reason.. and well, I never believed it. Until now.

Rock n' Roll me,
My Scarlet Harlot.
I need you like
you needed me.
I close my eyes,
and all I hear
is your voice.
When I breathe,
all I smell
is your hair.
When I wish,
all I want
is to be right here;
with you.
When I think,
all I can focus on
is us.
When I dream,
It's somewhere with you.

So be it...
Hey Everyone!

It's been a while since I've posted a blog! Y'all will have to forgive me.. Every time I sit down to write, I either get started on something I think isn't blog worthy and then never finish it or I just can't seem to get started. I've had writer's block for a while now (or my own version of such). Sometimes it's really hard to find inspiration or even enough (self)trust. This is the internet, after-all... I mean, I know it's not like thoughts I've typed are naked pictures or anything ;). It's just hard to find a perfect balance of candidness and preservation with a splash of culpability. I used to be such an avid blogger. I would write/post all the time. I haven't felt inspired since my Xanga was deleted :(! Actually, the more I think about it, that's exactly where this story begins...

Once upon a time, I was a lonely, little girl in Arkansas and the internet was this amazing tool I could use to express my juvenile emotion. Coming of age, I was a dancer and a camp counselor when one summer someone mentioned 'LiveJournal' to me. I thought to my 13yr-old-self "I love journals! I have many! What could make them better?". Little did I know!!!! Fast forward a few years later, I've got a LiveJournal, a Xanga and a budding Porn Career. Before we got to this point, I would often post lengthy blogs about all kinds of good stuff!! Sex, Drugs, Religion and life in the age of the beginning of social media. Every word was so dire. Every dripping word.

I would post long entries about me doing naughty things and my natural reaction to such; sometimes even pics, ta boot! There was so much passion in those posts. I wanted the world to know who I was and what I was all about. I needed y'all to know. I needed y'all to know I was here; I was your lover from a distance. A young girl from the middle of the Bible Belt who needed the world to know I was here for your entertainment. I was born that way. It was my nature.

Feeling like such a grown woman with my independent spirit, fast-spreading hips and a unquenchable rhythm, I was dying to dance on every one of you. I would fall in love with the thought of you falling in love with me almost every day. The undeniable euphoria of an epic, once-in-a-lifetime, fast-paced lust. And the more this Jack Daniels settles in my blood and the longer this playlist shuffles, I'm realizing that's still the same. I still NEED to dance with every one of you. It's still my nature.

Now I'm 28, have had a video rated all-time #1 on all the porn tube sites for 6 years straight, and can't seem to squeeze a blog out to save my life. I've started typing all kinds of stuff about the good old days. At least 4 different entries I've started are memories of me and Faye and I'm pretty positive the next update will be one of them. A really, really good friend told me recently that there's no point in not posting those/hiding from them. They are me. They are STIll a very important part of this whole story and so y'all need to know them.

So be it...

xo GJ

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